Your mind can be your worst enemy sometimes.
My sole New Year’s Resolution for 2018 was not to enter restrictive diets solely for weight loss. I’d been having issues with yo-yo dieting for years, triggering vicious cycles triggered whenever I tried to get rid of something in my diet, be it bread, fish, whatever.
(I left the option open for calorie-tracking, since I don’t restrict certain foods when I do that, and my weight has been causing some health issues I need to keep track of.)
While my rational, conscious mind had no trouble keeping this, my subconscious was hard at work, looking for ways to find the One True Diet That Would Make Erik Sexy Again. (OTDTWMESA, if you will.)
Last week, it found a weak spot.
I’m a committed environmentalist. Hell, I majored in Environmental Studies at my awesome college; I recycle; I use silverware and glasses instead of buying disposable ware at home. As someone concerned with climate change, one thing that would make a big impact is if we humans collectively ate fewer animal products.
My subconscious latched onto this. “Modest reductions in meat consumption” became “gotta go vegan now!”
So for three days I ate an entirely plant-based diet, until yesterday when I had an enormous burger at Five Guys (truly the Costco of middle-tier burgers). Not sustainable, and not healthy. It turned an altruistic impulse into a way to punish myself, yet again.
Fuck food restrictions. Eat less meat if you want to reduce animal suffering and stop climate change, but if you want a burger, just eat a fucking burger.