(CW: weight loss and dieting)
After the previous week’s chaos, my boss had me take off Monday and Friday this week. Those days off were much needed: I needed a lot of sleep (likely a side-effect of my diet — see below) and my chores had fallen behind. Next week could be a return to the intensity I saw the week before, or it could finally even out.
I’m finishing up my revisions to “Juicers” for Paradise Lost tonight and tomorrow. It’s due by the 15th, so I don’t have much time left! That’ll be a huge weight lifted off my chest.
With my running for the Board of Trustees at my church comes a greater expectation for public engagement. (In other words, I have to talk to people. Ugh.) See, I’m usually the shy dude in the balcony, not in the front row where the minister could lob a paper airplane at me if she wanted, precisely because I’ve always found crowds a little overwhelming. I have no problem in smaller company, even in a group as large as a dozen people, but bigger than that becomes an exercise in endurance. I suspect that my auditory processing issues might be to blame.
See, I’ve always found it hard to focus on anything when people are talking around me. Regular background noise, like an air conditioner or instrumental music? Not a problem. But my focus dissolves around chatter. I can’t listen to music with English vocals when I write or code, either, and when three employees gather in a nearby cubicle for small talk, I have to put on headphones just so I can drown it out.
So having a conversation in a talkative crowd takes a lot of concentration on my part, and church is nothing if not a talkative crowd following Sunday service. I’ll just have to adapt.
So I mentioned sleeping and diet earlier. I’ve been calorie-counting for the past two weeks, trying to find an equilibrium between a substantial calorie deficit for weight loss and not ruining my metabolism. 1600 calories seems to be my floor, as anything less leaves me cranky and requires me to sleep more than 8 hours a night. I have an overall slower metabolism than the last time I lost weight through CICO, which means my loss will come more slowly this time.
I should note: my pursuit of weight loss is my personal choice and not a reflection on anyone else’s health or appearance. I purposefully avoided attempting it all last year, even after my stay in the hospital for coronary vascular spasms, because I wanted to improve my self-esteem first. I believe no one should be fat shamed, and that includes fat-shaming one’s self.
There are three health issues I’m addressing with this. First, my snoring had worsened and is likely a symptom of obstructive sleep apnea. Second, I have some symptoms of pre-diabetes, and weight loss has been shown to alleviate these. Third, I’d like to pursue more high-impact exercise, and losing weight should improve my running pace and put less stress on my joints.
There have been some interesting side-effects so far, but that’s for a more private discussion.
I’m apprehensive about next week. I’m hosting a guest speaker at Sunday service and all but leading worship, something I’ve never done. I’m also helping out with another two church events. And, of course, “Juicers” is due very soon.
Speaking of which, I should get back on that. Until next time.